Non-Dairy Creamer

My life is now complete. I can die knowing that I have experienced the very best that Sioux Center has to offer. Yup. It's true. I have seen the scariest place in Sioux Center, and it is good. Ahh. Contended sigh. Eryn, you must be shown this place when you return. It will change your life.

Oh, and I've decided that I like Steinbeck. He creates amazingly vivid characters and his books absolutely ooze life. So after I get done posting this -- I'm running away to my new favorite reading spot to dive into the world of East of Eden. Yup, I love being a bookworm.

And I also think that Hannah has awesome taste in music. She has some -- shall we say -- eclectic selections for her wedding music, but I think they'll work out wonderfully. I am so excited:) Yes, so in addition to reading, I will be practicing. Life is good. Then maybe I'll bug Nate in the gameroom. Maybe. I don't know if I dare venture into that junior-high unhallowed ground. *shiver of horror*

Oh, and finally. I like non-dairy creamer. It is my friend.

Non-Dairy Creamer

My life is now complete. I can die knowing that I have experienced the very best that Sioux Center has to offer. Yup. It's true. I have seen the scariest place in Sioux Center, and it is good. Ahh. Contended sigh. Eryn, you must be shown this place when you return. It will change your life.

Oh, and I've decided that I like Steinbeck. He creates amazingly vivid characters and his books absolutely ooze life. So after I get done posting this -- I'm running away to my new favorite reading spot to dive into the world of East of Eden. Yup, I love being a bookworm.

And I also think that Hannah has awesome taste in music. She has some -- shall we say -- eclectic selections for her wedding music, but I think they'll work out wonderfully. I am so excited:) Yes, so in addition to reading, I will be practicing. Life is good. Then maybe I'll bug Nate in the gameroom. Maybe. I don't know if I dare venture into that junior-high unhallowed ground. *shiver of horror*

Oh, and finally. I like non-dairy creamer. It is my friend.

What in the name of ME is going on here...

So the lightning bugs were out playing, watching their big brothers playing in the sky (aka -- lightning). It was quite a sight to see. For being so very stunning, those little bugs are really quite slow and stupid. But I forgive them.

My brain is basically been fried beyond most hope of recent recovery due to a hyperextended wit. Warning, do not attempt to be sharp and witty when far, far past the point of exhaustion.

In an attempt to kill everyone else's intelligence too, check out this link. My brother found out about these video's through youth group, and passed the love along. Now, keep in mind. These are Christians with an overdeveloped sense of humor who are breaking down the current world's "preconcieved notions" of what Jesus is like in a slightly -- cough -- unconventional manner.

Enjoy. www.video.google.com/videosearch?q=vintage21
visit vintage21.com -- the media gallery for their explanation and some more great stuff.

Thoughts on the Rockies While in My 12th Hour on a Train

These forests are massive and the pines strain up so tall and straight.
They cling with an awe-some tenacity to the barest lichen-covered rocks, dangling mere inches from the rolling, boiling river beneath them.
Arching in grotesque angles these trees desperatly grab for sunshine and moisture.
Some have not succeeded.
There lay strewn around the brown needle floor, withered, bare, emaciated remnants.
Though looking like mere toothpicks, most are beyond my grasp's span.
Stripped branches trail into the water, but there are no whole trees in it rush, for that has long since swept them away.
All around shards of multifaceted rocks and boulders of infinite sizes and shapes coat the mountainsides.
Whole lumps of mountain jut out from the lichin, moss, and needle-layered bed.
There is an audacity in their broad, even smooth shapes in the midst of so much striving and life.
Then -- with sudden bursts rarely heard or seen -- the smooth-faced stability shatters into rumbling, roiling shifts.
More trees have clattered down, and now lean wearily against survivors.
Over all this chaotic, eerie beauty a silent, still loon floats in a calm, twisting weave in the peace of a small pond where the sun is breaking through the trees and casting soft shadows on the sheen of the water.

Just so that everyone is aware -- I'm not dead. Yeah, Colorado was absolutely awesome, and the wedding was simply lovely. And I mean simple really is lovely. I liked the calm, casual tone everyone set. Casual enough that a bunch of people (minus the beautiful bride, still in gown) went swimming in the pool at the reception. Ahhh.

The trainride back was nice and peaceful. I was able to enjoy the beauty of the Rockies and the silence of having a row to myself, at least until we got to Denver. But by then it was getting later in the day, and I wasn't terribly concerned with the view. Over the course of both trips I managed to finish 2 1/2 books and write about 5 pages, not to mention have some great talks with Eryn. Maybe if I get ambitious I'll post a few of my ramblings.

I talked with a really nice new grandad traveling the same route I was. I attempted to sleep, mostly unsuccessfully, but still was wide awake when the train came into Omaha. Now, alas, I must do laundry. Sigh. How anticlimactic.

Mental Jumper Cables Anyone?

Yipes. I haven't added anything on here in quite a while. But as I observed lately, my brain is toasted, and sadly I don't think that any profound function will begin for some time yet. I've been reading a lot though, which hopefully will kickstart some original thought.

On the up side, I got to fly a real kite yesterday. That was cool. Really cool. Then I nose dived the poor thing into the ground. Thankfully I didn't kill it, but I scared myself bad enough to step into a giant thistle by my foot:P Apparently my coordination skills are also rather dead.

Played violin for a bit today. I missed the Chad, and I was proud to see that he even stayed mostly in tune, even if my fingers weren't quite. I did work on some sappy tunes, to passify Michelle and Eryn, who were subjected to listening to me through the door until I started dinner. Now when I get my cello, it'll be even crazier.

Here's a cool painting I found. This is what I want to look like:)

Meditations on an Iced Coffee

You Are an Iced Coffee

At your best, you are: hyper, modern, and athletic At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty You drink coffee when: you're out with friends Your caffeine addiction level: medium

Why does life have to get so bloody complicated? I want to be an optimist, it's my nature! But I find it very hard to stay happy and content when I feel like my poor little world is crashing down on me. Sigh. I want to be an iced coffee. They have such an easy life. Just chill and wait for the end. This is their calling. I like it.

So last night was really getting myself wound up and rather stressed after spending an entire day in completely unproductive a manner. Wow. That sentence was mess. But then, so was I.

First I tried hiding from people in an attempt to escape the noise of the dance. It didn't work. Being alone does not always equal peace and stillness. But then, I went on a walk. And I ran through an alfalfa field in the dark, misty wetness. I stared at the dripping trees. I got soaked through. And I was more contented than I've been in a long time.

But then, I woke up at 12:30 and realized, I had slept through church and education hour. And yet I'm still happy.


PS --
And just to really challenge myself, tell me what you think about this.
Unfortunately, these come all too easy.
http://kevan.org/nohari?name=crazy+aztec

Then, try this. Ha. I could learn to use a few more of these.
http://kevan.org/johari?name=crazy+aztec

Earth Your Dancing Place

Beneath heaven's vault
remember always walking
through halls of cloud
down aisles of sunlight
or through high hedgesof the green rain
walk in the world
highheeled with swirl of cape
hand at the swordhilt
of your pride
Keep a tall throat
Remain aghast at life

Enter each day
as upon a stage
lighted and waiting
for your step
Crave upward as flame
have keenness in the nostril
Give your eyes
to agony or rapture

Train your hands
as birds to be
brooding or nimble
Move your body
as the horses
sweeping on slender hooves
over crag and prairie
with fleeing mane
sand aloofness of their limbs

Take earth for your own large room
and the floor of earth
carpeted with sunlight
and hung round with silver wind
for your dancing place

May Swenson

(Yes -- this poem's a bit odd, but I can't help but love the evocative pictures and the clarity of it's life.)

Speaking of colors....

I couldn't resist adding a 'case in point' example of God's awesome colors.

Kaleidoscope

I tricked my body today. It was fun. My first class was canceled, so I "slept in" until 9:00. Which made my body very happy and enthusiastic. Except, I stayed up until 5:15 working on Muslim World assignments. Sigh. My poor deluded self. On the up side, I took a small nap, ate Pizza Ranch for dinner, got to boss herd-bound, polyester-bedecked teenagers, and finally, roasted marshamallows, sang songs and yacked - all to the hideous aroma of stinky cigar.

Now for a more profound look at the day. I love colors. And I find it endlessly thrilling to see how God uses so many incredible colors in his creation. Like tonight -- there was a rich, deep blue nightsky filled with stars. That alone was great. But then the sparks from the bonfire floated up into that sky, and the glimmering whites and oranges melded to perfection. I could have stared at that forever. Whenever I feel myself starting to cave into the stress of my life, I just need to see some of those incredible colors God has put all around us, and I feel inexplicably better.

My Quirk Factor

Your Quirk Factor: 71%

You're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal.No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average."

That's me. A.k.a. crazy aztec. Right now, I feel a little more crazy than quirky. But, I guess these ridiculous, yet somehow compelling, quizes know all and tell all.

Alas, I am struck with an incredible lack of motivation, likely the result of too much fun this weekend. Yeah, I had a lot of fun. And, sadly, I am facing another action-packed week. Then again, so is everyone else on the Dordt campus.

On the up side, I am so pumped about this summer. I'm really looking forward to the prospects of watergun fights. Especially after watching Mason totally soak Eryn. (contented sigh).

You Belong In Paris

You Belong in Paris

You enjoy all that life has to offer, and you can appreciate the fine tastes and sites of Paris. You're the perfect person to wander the streets of Paris aimlessly, enjoying architecture and a crepe.

What European City Do You Belong In?

On a slightly lighter side, anyone feel like flying to Paris for a week and a half? I know I do. Plus, I want to eat this crepe of which they speak.

Response to "Good Friday"

The clouds were thin and quavering
as they walked along the grove.
These clustered men strode slowly,
but slower still one lagged.
His face was tucked in shadows
and his eyes pinned towards the ground.
Though not alone, he feared
the isolation.

The other men crouched down
as they sighed with muffled yawns.
The day'd been long and tiring
and their night held soothed relief.
But lower still one sunk
'til his hands grasped at the earth.
They tremored as he dragged them
to his hollowed face
and cried.

The other men were gone,
as now they dreampt of kings and crowns.
They felt no pain -- no fear
and they heard no desperate tears.
But one called/cried "MY GOD!
I beg to be released.
Is there another way?
Why must I be alone?

One dreaming chuckle rumbled,
unconsciously it cut.
"Can't you just be with me,
and stay a little while?"
But they cannot see the agony,
for their eyes are filled with sleep.
So the man weeps,
for the blind he's sent to save.
alone.

Good Friday

Since I was little, I have always struggled to understand why today is called "Good" Friday. I mean, sure, in a very roundabout way, today is good. Christ saved us with his death, and there can be nothing better than that. But -- my God -- he died. God died. What can be less "good"?

Last night I went out for a walk, barefoot in the cold, wet grass. It was green and lovely. But all I could think about was Jesus, alone. Those whom he loved so dearly couldn't grasp the incredible burden Jesus was taking on that night. They slept. Slept! While Jesus was in agony and fear, their own thoughts were peaceful. It was Passover. They had a nice meal, sober, but nice. Now they walked with Jesus to a peaceful grove, as I'm sure they'd done so many times before. Jesus was walking out alone to pray, as he'd done so many times before. So they slept.

But tonight was not another night, like so many before. God's Son was in torment. He was afraid.


Today in chapel they gave us each a nail, and later in the service there was the sound of a pounding clanking; the sound of nails pounded before we sang "Were You There". I could hardly stand it. All I could think of was me, in the crowd, spitting on his face. After all, I do it every day. His hands are tied, and he can't even wipe it off. It stays there, as he drags himself to the hill. Then, there I am. I am holding a nail, which I push against his flesh as I raise a mallet high over my head. I swing down, and I hear that clank, clank, clank, clank.

I couldn't help it. I put the nail back in the basket at the end of the chapel.

It doesn't feel like a good day.

In the spirit of (de)constructive criticism

So, I just finished reading a book called Whose Land? Whose Promise? by Gary Burge that was incredible. Well, the kind of incredible that leaves one feeling emotionally drained and disgusted. Burge really tries to analyze the situation between Israel, Palestine, and the Christian church. Well, I can just say that this book blew away my preconcieved notions about what is the "right side" to be on. Last night it was really bothering me, all the injustice that Israel is committing, and the unknowing support of so many honest Christians. This is what I came up with, at 2:00am.

You've called on me to trust you
and lean on your strength.

You've told me to listen
and quiet my heart.

To still this mad tumult
and detach my worries.

But stillness is hard
in a world that screams.

And trusting is hard
when I see the world's pain.

Where is the stillness
when the bomb rocks the earth?

Where is the trust
when the child is crying?

Oh God, they are crying,
Don't you hear all their fears?

Rescue these crying,
these dying, these hurt.

Save all the people
Who've called on your name.

Redeem a tired earth,
Pocked with shots and shots.

Open the eyes shut tight on this pain.

You've called me.
You've called us.
Please show us how
To give out your peace.
To hear in the violence
Your shalom -- your peace.

Crazy Aztec

This is my new name. I like it. I find "you aztec" to be a highly effective insult that is simultaneously without any meaning.

And since I have now been labeled "crazy aztec," I thought I would find a suitable effegy.

Rather sexy outfit, huh? I want one.

See, I've been managing to progress towards catching up on sleep (I got 6 hours last night!), and now my mind is flying at a scary speed to compensate for the lack of function over the past few days. I only ask for a little grace during this time of very awkward transition to relative normalcy.

Dutchmen's beards

"you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman's beard"

I must say, that I have seen quite a few Dutchman's beards, and I can't say there are any that I have a strong desire to hang off of. I'm not entirely sure what this euphamism means, it generally confuses me. But then, I slept until noon today, so I think my poor self is rather confused about life in general.

Eryn and Mason tell me that I am becoming a vampire. As of yet, I don't have any pointy teeth, but I think I have most other traits, except for climbing walls and turning into a bat, wolf, or fog. I must say that, apart from the whole undead/eternal damnation/destructive aspects of being a vampire, the character has always appealed to me.

I think I better return to the more productive aspects of my life. Like homework.

Lovely quote of the day

"Those pious people who do penancy for their own sins by putting other people in sackcloth."

Charles Dickens

And now, (because I can use it to segue neatly) here's Dicken's views on utilitarian education:

"The speaker, the schoolmaster, and the third grown person present, all backed a little, and swept with their eyes the inclined plane of the little vessels then and there arranged in order, ready to have imperial gallons of facts poured into them until they were full to the brim."

Oh yeah. I know that's what I feel like right now -- my head is like a giant jug that has way, way too much information being poured into it. I can only count down the days until summer, when I can return to reading boatloads of books, and replacing all these annoying useful facts with entirely useless information.

Let's just say that right now, I can't believe that I actually have the manuel dexterity to type still considering I went to bed at 6:30 this morning. But, I think my body is okay with it, because I really wasn't doing anything academic after about 2:30. See, there is more to a college education than reading and writing papers. There's the awesome discussions that you have with people. I love just talking with the incredibly diverse students on this campus. I must admit, even with the late nights and stressing assignments -- I love college and I love Dordt.

Drum role is deserved, I think

So, I decided that latin is just totally cool, and it has the best sayings ever. Even though I don't speak it, I am randomly slapping them everywhere on my blog.

Wow, and I told myself I would never be one of those sad people who just enter all their random meaningless crap into blogs that no one will every read just to make themselves feel better about their equally meaningless lives. Hopefully I have not yet slid to that level, but maybe after I graduate and cease to have a life and friends, then my blog will be my mournful rants.

On the up side, now I get to make comments on everyone elses blogs. Heehee... that will be most entertaining.

So, I suppose now is where I put in the log of the events of the day. Okay -- got up at 1:15. pm. That is certainly a record for me, but I have been sleep deprived all week, so I justify it. Kindof. After fiddling around making a card for Catherine's suprise bridle shower, I dressed up in a 1950s purple dress and drank tea, ate petit-fors (sp?), snickerdoodles, cucumber and egg salad sandwiches. It was a good time. We even managed not to tease Catherine to death, even though it became rather difficult at times. The words lingerie and sheer were only mentioned a couple times. Now I am going to see Seven Brides for Seven Brothers in Orange City. Weee.

Yup, that is all. I post this meo periculo.