The End is Near...

It's been a good semester overall. Certainly the best spring semester I've had while at Dordt. However, I still dread these last two weeks of assignments with absolute dread. I've been able to keep things pretty balanced up until now. I've gotten an average of 7-8 hours of sleep, and it's been nice.

But now I've got an assignment due every day of classes until next Friday. And my poor self is feeling the stilted wheeze of sleep deprivation. And I can just feel the energy draining out of the campus. In my classes, comments become fewer and farther between. In play, there's a sluggishness and lethergy of exhaustion upon exhaustion. In conversation there is a fear of the end of the semester coming -- simply because of everything that must be done before that blissful day of sunshine and roses.

Expectations

Life, you would be better off without them.
Without those infant fantasies of dazzling stars
you would be content with darkness.

Flee those wide-eyed idealizations
of smiling bowing faces
and you would not mind that you've become invisible.

If you could cast off the white knights and castles

you would not weep when he leaves.

Just forget to see your failures your failures your failures

and you will never have the raw pain of memory.

Then life, you'll never notice that you have bled out all your self
on fruitless, ignorant dreams.

In honor of the month and five days since I last posted

I'm posting. Wow. I almost forgot this little blog existed.

This current week has been really busy, but not because of homework, which is confusing my brain. I get done with the day totally drained because I've been running all over the campus, not because I've been writing papers for hours. I don't know which kind of exhausted I like better. Regardless, though, that all changes next week, when I have quite a bit of writing to do. I'll survive, though. My room is so full of chocolate and junkfood, it's crazy. This apartment is going to be quite fat by the end of this year. Fudge, cookies, bars, cakes, and pies have all been baked by myself and roomies since this weekend. Sigh.

I got my rough draft back on a paper I'm writing on the "Contrasting Perspectives on the Role of Epidemics in Shaping Global History." I like the title. It makes me feel academic. Basically it gives me an excuse to learn all about gross symptoms and other gory details. Hopefully, in the midst of sloshing around in my books I'll actually come to some coherent conclusions on the topic.